let's start at the top of our house. near and on the roof live the caged and uncaged birds. it is the caged ones that drive me nuts. particularly mr. pavarotti - the non-stop singing bird. cut it out will ya. we've all heard you and no one is going to let you free. so please stop your nervous tweet-tweet and la-la-la.
mosquitos - tell me what they were good for again? not only do i dislike them for biting me, but also for leaving behind a blood-red stain on the wall when i kill them with a newspaper.
then there are the ants. they come in 2 sizes: tiny and huge.
would the big ones even recognise the small ones as their species? would they consider them 'unter-ants'? or would the small ones think of the big ones as posers?
the tiny ones live in the kitchen.they are as big -or small- as a pixel and carry away our bread- and cookie crumbs, our left over lasagna, grains of sugar. one day we will wake up and the entire kitchen will have disappeared to their underground hiding place.
the big ants live in our patio. near the plants. they love marching in 3-4 lanes. always busy demolishing. left-right-march-march. i think they are up to an evil plan. perhaps they are slowly digging away at the foundations of our house, but strategically. we will notice nothing, until one day - KABUM, the whole house will disappear into a huge hole. people will wonder how it was possible nobody ever noticed anything. and the ants will giggle their mean little giggle.
the centipedes and millipedes have no plan. they simply live under the plants. once in a while when i pick up the pots to water the plants (which i should do more often), they wriggle and squirm, afraid of the daylight. dumb asses.
look at your thumb. well, that's the size that the cockroaches get here. and bigger. hey, it is a tropical country! they make a loud crunching sound - under my slippers. disgusting creatures.
our weirdest animal visitor in the house is the bat. yes, it comes into our house. late at night it flies in through the open window, circles around the lamp a few times and then flies out another window.
not so nice that he shat on the wall the other day. he should not do that.
there's only one creature living here that i actually have sympathy for: the lizard. it makes no noise. it does not bite. it does not seem to shit. it just seems to be happily leading his own little live without bothering me. every now and then he does scare the hell out of me when i pick up something from the shelve and he is sitting there. at least he is also scared - quickly scattering away to hide behind the next object on the shelve.
sometimes i think i am not really living in this house; it is all the animals that are living here. i am simply tolerated here by them because i provide them with food and shelter. they only need to change their mind and turn against us and the boyfriend and i will be out of this house within a day.
better be nice to them...
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