so this is it: the dreaded day that i am moving back to amsterdam.
2 suitcases packed. still some lose stuff lying around that needs to be found a last nook or cranny in my backpack.
why do we people collect so much rubbish?
and yet, i am leaving so much behind!
some clothes that needed to be thrown away in the first place. some books i have read and do not want to reread. a worn down pair of sneakers. of course the plants and furniture that i bought stays behind.
and memories can not be packed. you carry them with you, until you forget them. and some i leave behind, right here as i step out of the house: the bad ones i am more than eager to forget. about the suffocating heat, bad hangovers, the dirt in our house, the congested traffic, too much rice n beans. gone, the moment i have left.
oh, i leave so much behind.
and still my bags are full.
clothes and shoes, books, cd's, a whole plastic bag full of electronics (oh, these wires!), a puppet i made, a puppet i brought. so much to take away from here. it makes me feel like a homeless person, pushing around all his belongings in a shopping cart.
but how easily i would leave it all behind, all of it - my dearest shirt, my favorite jeans, the murakami book i so much enjoyed, the camera, laptop, cell phone, really i wouldn't think twice - if i could only carry with me to amsterdam the one thing that is no longer mine: my boyfriends love.
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